Only a couple weeks ago life, as already weird and hectic as it was, was seemingly going on. We were waking up to go to work, commuting, grabbing an on-the-go coffee that I now miss so very much. We were worrying about our income tax reports needing to be filed, or deadlines, or incoming exams or meetings we thought were so important.
As I sit here writing this, I just finished a conversation with my girlfriend about whether we had enough food to go through the next 2 weeks of quarantine, and which low-infection-risk-strategy we would use when, invariably, the time would come to go out and replenish our supplies.
We’ve been living in confinement for a little over 3 weeks.
Reading this last phrase makes me feel so ridiculous, so vain, in the face of the hundreds of thousands who’ve gone through years of war, living in the ruins of what life was before. But reality remains; I’ve never had to live recluse, separated from others and away from “active life”. Every single day for the past couple weeks, I’ve spent my time doing petty things in and around the house, and I’ve not gone anywhere or done anything.
Still, I scoff at my self-pity; I’ve still managed a carefully-choreographed run in the backstreets of the neighborhood every other day or so, marveling in disbelief that I now had to make mental 3-D maps to ensure I avoided any contact with a fellow Human in a range of 6-8 feet. “Crazy days”, I think to myself, every single time.
Even more depressing is, I should cherish these now-times when we are still somewhat allowed outside, provided we respect “social distancing”, two words I’d never thought could be used together before. Because it seems pretty obvious that, in a couple of days, we will have to deal with much stricter rules and function in a dystopian police-state reality, stemming from the fact that some among us can’t get it into their thick heads that, maybe for the first time in our lives, we have to restrain our own freedoms so that all, or rather the most of us, can go on living.
Because that’s how things are, right now. People are dying. By the thousands. Our Elders are at very high risk, followed by those among us who are weakened or sick. Still, if you’re a strong, healthy person unlucky enough to get infected, you stand a chance of ending up strapped on to a respirator in an intensive care ward to try and save your life.
I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, right now, I know. But somehow, writing things down helps me process the whole situation. And maybe sharing with you is what I need the most. I hope you need it too, I hope this maybe helps.
So here you have it. After years away from my keyboard, I’ve decided to write again.
I don’t pretend to be any better than anyone else at this quarantine thing. I’m not trying to preach, or to get some sort of social message across. I’m just reaching out to you, wherever you may be.
I genuinely want to know.
I want to make sure.
Tell me, how are you, my friend?
hello my friend. I am so very glad to reach this and read. I believe that everyone's perception of life right now is tough- strange and different. That said, being that I work in healthcare, and are still traveling out 3 days a week to go into the office- I am seeing what the real impact of this is. I am concerned that just like the small pox infections of natives so many years ago, that the poor and unprivileged are struggling- infected - dying at a higher rate (at least in this country). I worry that this will again increase the gaps in our society - our politicians are not afraid that if they get sick they will not have a ventilator- or what ever healthcare they need.
ReplyDeleteI am concerned about the intelligence or ignorance or arrogance of people- who i see out and about- not maintaining social distance, and yet buying up all the toilet paper. I struggle with anger, and pity for them.
I am worried about the future of society overall.
stressed at home, my family is safe. the kids - especially the teen - struggle between understanding and desire- especially when their friends families are not as 'strict' as we are. we have plenty of food, we are all healthy, and doing our best. we are all tired, and sleeping more. But I think we are also appreciating more of the little things. the sunshine. the singing birds. the seeds as they start to grow.
I look forward to being able to run again. To get back out into the wilderness and ground myself. To feel the earth with all of my being. I look forward to the hope that someday we can do that together.