Solitude

There are times on my path when I feel alone, deserted, desolate. It feels like I look around, and find no open ear, open arms or safe haven. I know I’m a ship built for the storms, but there were times in my life when I could always find home and shelter. Now, those days feel far, far away.

There are days of confusion when everything around me is out of sync. Times when what I seem to be saying has no connection to what I think or harbor in my heart. I look at life like a blurry, confusing movie in an unknown language. Clarity escapes me.

Chaos and uncertainty never troubled me excessively, but the loneliness of this feeling of being singled out, left alone, or pushed aside leaves me in a bitter, empty place. And then anger looms around.

I’m left with thoughts of Why. I’m not grateful, positive or happy; I feel I’m being shoved around and dissed. Questioned, judged. Rejected.

I need Nature. Fresh air and green leaves. My True Mother, one that eagerly awaits me every single time to invite me back into oneness. I need sounds of night birds and critters, the crackling of a fire and the blessings of its smoke.

I need my feet on the dirt, the slow tap of my feet’s rhythm resonating in my bones, the cadence of my breathing giving pace to my roaming thoughts. The looks of friends doing the same. The miraculous Connection.

I need my soul to soar again.