April 12, 2010

Awaiting The Starting Gun

Here we are. I’ve been talking, I’ve been dreaming, I’ve been training. I’ve had my ups and downs, my worries, my high hopes, my reality checks. I ditched my doubts. I ditched my shoes.

Now I’m about to confront the Beast... and all I have to do is sit and wait.

They call it “tapering”. This means I have only one training goal this week, just a few days away from my first, real, official half-marathon: rest and recuperate. Eat right. Carbo-load. Sleep.

I haven’t been this jittery in years. I’ve barely overcome a severe lactic acid problem in my calves after my New-York run, I’m still struggling with my body’s glycogen (sugar) needs versus my sugar-free diet, I feel undertrained, I’m ravaged with uncertainties.

But in the meantime, I’m roaring. I’ve been preparing for this. I’ve gone through the course a thousand times in my mind. There’s something inside that’s been slowly winding up, carefully, notch by notch. All it has to do now is stay still for a week. Steady, Eddie.

I’m in dire need of meditation. I have to sit down, close my eyes, breathe it all out. Transform anxiety into slow-burning fuel. Shuffle my images one last time. Go pick up my race kit. Calmly. Show up at the starting line. With quiet resolve.

It’s the 30th Anniversary of Terry Fox’s epic run today.

There are no coincidences.

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